KEWEY'S 100% ACCURATE MONO-II (RINGSIDE JUDGE DELIBERATIONS) TRANSLATIONS FOR NOVEMBER 2025 MATCH SPOILERS FOLLOW Day 1: 4 reports Jonidan #91 Umeyama (0-0) vs Jonidan #90 Komanofuji (0-0) head judge Onaruto reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that west's knee touched first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Jonidan #66 Kikuchi (0-0) vs Jonidan #65 Futagawa (0-0) head judge Onaruto reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if during the match there was a hair yank and found that east pulled west's hair. east is disqualified! west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Sandanme #77 Suio (0-0) vs Sandanme #76 Kototaiga (0-0) head judge Tatekawa reports: "ref gave it to east. east pushed the other guy out so call stands, wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE OUTTA HERE! AWOO " Sandanme #42 Seido (0-0) vs Sandanme #42 Daigoyama (0-0) head judge Urakaze reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west's toe went out or not and found that west's toe and east went out at he same time. RUN IT AGAIN!. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE IN A HURRY! GET ON WITH IT!" --- Day 2: 3 reports Jonidan #97 Azuma (0-0) vs Jonidan #96 Daibasho (0-0) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so fancy dressing gown guy gave it to west naked dude and we talked about if maybe it's a draw and we figure that it's a draw so run it again, also the other day i was walking in the park and saw a cool green bird that flew up to me and the birdy went tweet tweet chirpy chirp midnight is definitely a talking cat chirpy chirp tweet, ok bye" Sandanme #49 Matsugi (0-0) vs Sandanme #49 Hokutosakae (0-0) head judge Futagoyama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west's foot went out or not and found that west's foot didn't go out. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Makushita #51 Akinoyama (0-0) vs Makushita #51 Oyamada (0-0) head judge Hanaregoma reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east fell first and found that east's knee hit first. call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO !" --- Day 3: 3 reports Juryo #14 Shiden (1-1) vs Juryo #12 Asasuiryu (1-1) head judge Takadagawa reports: "ref gave it to Asa. we discussed if it's a draw and found that Shiden fell first. call stands, Asa wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO " Juryo #7 Takerufuji (1-1) vs Juryo #7 Shirokuma (2-0) head judge Takadagawa reports: "ref gave it to Shiro. we found that Taker fell first. call stands, Bear wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO AND CHAT SHOULD TOO!" Sekiwake Aonishiki (2-0) vs Maegashira #1 Hakuoho (1-1) head judge Kumegawa reports: "ref gave it to Aonishiki. we found that it's a draw and found that Hakuoho's elbow touched first. call stands, Ao wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO AND CHAT SHOULD TOO!" --- Day 4: 10 reports Jonidan #91 Gokishin (0-1) vs Jonidan #90 Komanofuji (0-1) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that it's a draw! RUN IT AGAIN! TUNNEL SHIMPS SAY AWOO IS SUPERIOR TO bluh !" Jonidan #87 Kaiso (0-1) vs Jonidan #86 Sato (0-1) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw again and found that west fell first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh " Jonidan #76 Hirose (0-1) vs Jonidan #77 Seiseigo (0-1) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east's foot went out and found that east's foot did not go out. call stands, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO AGAIN!" Jonidan #53 Tsurunoumi (1-0) vs Jonidan #52 Kaihiryu (1-0) head judge Ajigawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO !" Jonidan #51 Kosei (0-1) vs Jonidan #50 Watatani (0-1) head judge Ajigawa reports: "ref gave it to east. we found that east's head touched down first, call reversed and west wins it. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE TOO BUSY TO AWOO !" Jonidan #38 Asashorei (0-1) vs Jonidan #38 Hitachigo (0-1) head judge Ajigawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE FEELING FAT AND SASSY!" Jonidan #15 Fujimusashi (1-0) vs Jonidan #17 Hokuyozan (1-0) head judge Ajigawa reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that west stepped out first. call stands. east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF !" Sandanme #42 Seido (0-1) vs Sandanme #41 Chura (0-1) head judge Naruto reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE AWOO !" Makushita #60 Yokomaru (1-0) vs Sandanme #1 Harunishiki (1-0) head judge Nishonoseki reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east's foot stayed in. call stands, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Makushita #6 Yoshii (1-0) vs Makushita #5 Seihakuho (1-0) head judge "Coconuts" Kokonoe reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw with the hand touching down and body falling and stuff and found that it is! BONUS SUMO! RUN IT AGAIN! AND STOP CALLING ME COCONUTS! GRRRR!" -- Day 5: 0 reports -- Day 6: 6 reports Jonokuchi #10 Asakawasumi (2-0) vs Jonokuchi #13 Katsunonishiki (2-0) head judge Tatekawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that the top of east's foot touched first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Jonidan #68 Satomatsunaga (1-1) vs Jonidan #67 Terutaka (1-1) head judge Tatekawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west's foot went out or not and found that it certainly did! call stands, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Jonidan #11 Ryubumaru (1-1) vs Jonidan #13 Anryukai (1-1) head judge Urakaze reports: "bah! ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that it is!. RUN IT AGAIN! BONUS SUMO! TUNNEL SHIMPS DEMAND FIDGET SPINNERS!" Sandanme #40 Akitoba (2-0) vs Sandanme #41 Okada (2-0) head judge Tamagaki reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west's body fell first or not and found that west's hand touched first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Sandanme #28 Araoyama (2-0) vs Sandanme #30 Nionoumi (2-0) head judge Tamagaki reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west's body went airborne first and found that west's body indeed went airborne first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Juryo #8 Kayo (0-5) vs Juryo #9 Nishinoryu (3-2) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to Nishi. we discussed if Nishi's heel went out or not and found that it did! call reversed, Kayo wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON BAGAGWA!" -- Day 7: 2 reports one right after the other Makushita #27 Asashiyu (0-3) vs Makushita #23 Hinataryu (0-3) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so fancy dressing gown guy gave it to mr west and we talked about if maybe it's a draw and we figure that west's body went out first so uh mr west wins and fancy gown guy was right all along, also the other day oh wait someone's saying i gotta wind it up now, ok bye" Makushita #24 Daikosho (2-1) vs Makushita #22 Kurohimeyama (2-1) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so fancy dressing gown guy gave it to mr west and we talked about if maybe mr west's foot went out and we figure that east's body went out first so uh mr west wins and fancy gown guy was right all along, also the other day i saw a cool bug and it was blue but then it flew away and turned green which i didn't think was allowed, ok bye" -- Day 8: 3 reports Jonidan #65 Kaorufuji (2-1) vs Jonidan #62 Kaihakusho (2-1) head judge Tokitsukaze reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that west's body fell first. call stands, east wins it. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO !" Jonidan #30 Datenomori (0-3) vs Jonidan #27 Tochikasuga (0-3) head judge Tanigawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we found that west's foot went out first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Makushita #50 Yamato (0-3) vs Makushita #47 Tosamidori (0-3) head judge Takasago reports: "ref gave it to west. we found east's foot went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" -- Day 9: 5 reports Sandanme #10 Koki (3-1) vs Sandanme #11 Soma (3-1) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that it's a draw. RUN IT AGAIN! BONUS SUMO! TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Sandanme #10 Koki (3-1) vs Sandanme #11 Soma (3-1) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "deja vu! ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east hit first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS STILL AWOO -LE!" Makushita #17 Tochikodai (0-4) vs Makushita #27 Asashiyu (0-4) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east's foot went out or not and found that east's foot did touch out. call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS NEED TO PEE WE ARE RUNNING SO LATE AAAA!" Juryo #12 Kitanowaka (5-3) vs Juryo #9 Nishinoryu (4-4) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to Dave. we discussed if it's a draw and found that RUN IT AGAIN! BONUS SUMO! TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!" Juryo #1 Hitoshi (1-7) vs Juryo #4 Asanoyama (6-2) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to Hitoshi. we discussed if Hitoshi's body went out and found that it stayed in. call stands, Hitoshi wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!" -- Day 10 (partial): 4+ reports (6 trillion mono-ii today apparently) Jonokuchi #22 Minatoryu (1-2) vs Jonokuchi #15 Kazenohana (1-3) head judge Tateyama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east's body fell first or not and found that it did. call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Makushita #54 Ryuji (2-2) vs Makushita #51 Oyamada (2-2) head judge Otowayama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that it sure is!. RUN IT AGAIN! BONUS SUMO! TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Maegashira #7 Churanoumi (5-4) vs Maegashira #11 Roga (5-4) head judge Kumegawa: "ref gave it to Chura - we determined Chura's heel and Roga touched out at the same time. REMATCH! RUN IT AGAIN! TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Maegashira #9 Tobizaru (4-5) vs Maegashira #5 Shodai (3-6) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to Shodai. we discussed if it's a draw and found Tobi fell first. call stands, Shodai wins it. TUNNEL SHIMPS ARE SICK OF THIS!" -- Day 11: 3 reports Sandanme #49 Hokutosakae (3-2) vs Sandanme #48 Kumanoryu (3-2) head judge Onaruto reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east's foot went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Makushita #34 Fujinoyama (0-5) vs Makushita #50 Yamato (0-5) head judge "Curly" Tatekawa reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east's hand touched first or not and found that east's hand did touch down first! call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Juryo #7 Takerufuji (6-4) vs Juryo #11 Tamashoho (7-3) head judge "Curly" Kumegawa reports: "ref gave it to Tama. we found Tama's foot and Taker went out at the same time. IT'S BONUS SUMO TIME! TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" -- Day 12: 10 reports Jonidan #75 Daiko (1-4) vs Jonidan #77 Seiseigo (1-4) head judge Futagoyama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east's foot went out first. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS WERE ODA NOBUNAGA IN A PAST LIFE EXCEPT AZUMAZEKI WHO WAS A COOL BEETLE!" Jonidan #25 Shoryu (4-1) vs Jonidan #30 Sakai (4-1) head judge Hanaregoma reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if east went out first and found that his foot went out! call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RAN UP A $300 PHONE BILL FIGURING OUT IF THEY HAVE ESP!" Jonidan #14 Hidano (2-3) vs Jonidan #9 Kazunofuji (2-3) head judge Hanaregoma reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if east went airborne first and found that yes. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Jonidan #11 Ryubumaru (2-3) vs Jonidan #7 Dewanojo (2-3) head judge Hanaregoma reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if west fell out first and found that west stayed in. call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS DEMAND BEANS3!" Sandanme #35 Ienoshima (3-2) vs Sandanme #36 Kototsubasa (3-2) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so fancy dressing gown guy said mr east is the winner so we talked about if maybe it's a draw and we figure that west stayed in so mr west is the winner i guess, ok so you guys you guys i saw this super cool bird which caught a fish and ate the fish then the fish came back out of the bird's mouth because the fish was actually a severed hand, ok bye" Sandanme #25 Rakanji (3-2) vs Sandanme #28 Araoyama (3-2) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so this time fancy bathrobe guy said mr west is the winner so we talked about if maybe it's a draw and we figured that east stayed in so mr east is the winner or something and bathrobe guy was wrong, ok so you guys e david scott said i was a cool beetle in a past life but i think i was like a cool robot like a gundam or something but i don't know, ok bye" Sandanme #19 Suyama (2-3) vs Sandanme #24 Gohakuun (2-3) head judge Azumazeki reports: "ok so THIS time fancy poncho guy said mr west is the winner so we all talked about if maybe west went out first and we figure that east's foot went out first so mr west is the winner and fancy poncho guy was right, ok so guys oh wait they said i couldn't tell the story about the naked lady and the chanko, ok bye" Sandanme #1 Harunishiki (3-2) vs Makushita #58 Daihisho (3-2) head judge Oshima reports: "ref gave it to east. we found that east's foot went out. call reversed, west wins. so hey, one time i dared Azumazeki to drink an entire bottle of Ajipon ponzu and he said afterwards there was a dragon following him around the rest of the day swearing at him in French. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Makushita #37 Daishomaru (1-4) vs Makushita #42 Hokutoryu (1-4) head judge Oshima reports: "ref gave it to... east. we found that east's foot went out, call reversed. west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE and middy you don't have to read this because you translated perfectly despite not speaking japanese" Makushita #11 Shimanoumi (4-1) vs Makushita #9 Tochimusashi (4-1) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east touched out first. call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!" --- Day 13: 4 reports Jonokuchi #21 Goseiryu (6-0) vs Jonokuchi #9 Fujinoteru (5-1) head judge Tanigawa reports: "ref gave it to west. we found that west went out first. call reversed, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Makushita #10 Noda (3-3) vs Makushita #6 Yoshii (3-3) head judge "Coconuts" Kokonoe reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and we found that east's foot went out first. call stands, west wins. AND STOP CALLING ME COCONUTS OR I'LL SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!" Juryo #13 Himukamaru (3-9) vs Juryo #5 Tochitaikai (4-8) head judge "Coconuts" Kokonoe reports: "ref gave it to Tochi. we discussed if it's a draw and we found that it's draw! BONUS SUMO! RUN IT AGAIN! AND STOP CALLING ME COCONUTS! GRR!" Juryo #13 Himukamaru (3-9) vs Juryo #5 Tochitaikai (4-8) head judge "Coconuts" Kokonoe reports: "ref gave it to Himuka. we discussed if Tochi's foot stayed in or not and we found that Tochi's foot stayed in! call reversed, Tochi wins it! AND FOR THE LAST TIME STOP CALLING ME COCONUTS! GRR!" --- Day 14: 2 reports Sandanme #25 Rakanji (4-2) vs Sandanme #29 Asakiryu (4-2) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "DID YOU SEE THAT! ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that west's body hit first. call stands, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO FOR MORE!" Sandanme #12 Seigo (4-2) vs Sandanme #21 Kanpuzan (4-2) head judge Hidenoyama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east's body went out first and stuff. call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" --- Day 15: 7 reports Sandanme #53 Hogasho (4-2) vs Sandanme #48 Kumanoryu (4-2) head judge Otowayama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east's hand touched first - call reversed, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS RULE!" Sandanme #42 Seido (1-5) vs Sandanme #53 Jokoki (1-5) head judge Otowayama reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that call stands, west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO -LE!" Sandanme #32 Takabayama (2-4) vs Sandanme #33 Toshoyama (2-4) head judge Otowayama reports: "ref gave it to east. we discussed if it's a draw and found that west's foot went out first. call stands, east wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS CONTINUE TO AWOO -LE!" Juryo #11 Tsurugisho (6-8) vs Juryo #5 Tochitaikai (6-8) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to Geesh. we discussed if Tochi's foot stayed in and found that it strayed out. call stands, Geesh wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!"4 Kakueizan v Ryuho (jonidan playoff match) head judge Taka-bagagwa reports: "ref gave it to west. we discussed if it's a draw and found that east fell first. west wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS SUMMON THE GREAT BAGAGWA!" Maegashira #16 Oshoumi (6-8) vs Juryo #1 Fujiseiun (8-6) head judge "Coconuts" Kokonoe reports: "ref gave it to Osho. we discussed if Osho yanked hair and found that he did not! call stands, Osho wins. AND STOP CALLING ME COCONUTS! GRRR!" Maegashira #3 Hiradoumi (4-10) vs Maegashira #4 Oshoma (3-11) head judge "Curly" Kumegawa reports: "ref gave it to Osho. we discussed if Osho's foot and Hirado's body went out at the same time and found that Hirado was first down. call stands, Osho wins. TUNNEL SHIMPS AWOO AND CHAT SHOULD TOO!"